Nostalgia

Back up against a wall. The alleyway of a theater,dirty, fragrant, in the heart of a city where I know no one. I wore a skirt for him. I barely know him, but I did it because I knew he wanted it. It is freezing, and I don’t care.

I don’t know him, but I almost go home with him. Only the threat of actually missing a test keeps me from it, his hands, his mouth, his command.

That night, I steal a Christmas Tree with my friends. We carry it in the freezing cold, laughing, drunk with our youth and freedom.

But later… later, I dissolve into it; throwing away my identity to become anything he wants.

I belong no where. So I give nothing. Nothing but my body, my consent, my consciousness. He can have everything, any thing he wants. He will pass me to a friend, and I, pliant and wanton, will give them whatever they ask for.

Anything but my heart. I’ve caged her inside a puzzle box, and lost the key.

I don’t really miss her, either.

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